"Luke, this is a little embarrassing, but I think we might be related. Sorry I chopped off your hand."
"All of these snakes are really completely unacceptable."
"Hey Adrian, are you around?"
"Hey, don't touch me, you're some sort of a talking monkey and I'm not entirely certain how sanitary this is!"
"To my big brother George, who is rich not in actual money but in the love of his neighbors. Which I guess is okay."
"Are you talking to me? Well, that's kind of a silly question because this is a mirror and I'm only pretending anyway."
"It's okay that you aren't the woman that you've been pretending to be, I'm a homosexual!"
"What we have here is confusion on your part over who is the prisoner and who is the guard."
"Toto, I have a feeling that we aren't in Kansas anymore, because we're in Technicolor and before we were in sepia."
"What is it?" "It's a counterfeit version of the Maltese Falcon."
"As God is my witness, I'll never eat a carrot without washing it again! That was revolting."
"I never drink...wine. I prefer blood. O wait, didn't you know I was a vampire? Ah well, that cat's out of the bag."
"Look, if you'd stop slapping me for a second I'd explain the concept of pregnancy resulting from parental incest."
"Nobody puts Baby in the corner. O wait, you see the schnozz on that girl? Never mind."
So I ran home from the show last night and, hooray! It's So You Think You Can Dance night! And because they are down to six couples and it's a two hour show, they each do two routines.
Routine 1:
Melissa and Ade - disco
Loved it. Very fast and fun, do they only do disco like runaway trains on this show?
Kupono and Kayla - contemporary
A dramatic story piece about addiction. Amazing, completely glorious and amazing. One of the best routines all year, bar nobody, and Mia Michaels is forgiven for being such a stone bitch during the auditions.
Caitlin and Jason - fox trot
Too bad they had to follow the addiction dance, it's a tough spot to be in. And the piece was okay, but I don't care for Jason much. Time to let him go this week.
Jeanine and Philip - Russian folk dance
My lovely Philip not so much born for this dance. That is the closest I will come to criticizing him. Most of the judges comments appear to be about not liking the choreography, which makes as little sense as criticizing Caitlin's alien costume last week. If you don't like the dance or the costume, his isn't the dancers' fault.
Randi and Evan - hip hop
Story dance about pregnancy Loved it. Such joy. Who knew Evan could do hip hop? I think Evan pulls shit off much better than the judges ever give him credit for.
Brandon and Janette - tango
Good Lord! Crazy legs! That was amazing.
Okay, my order from best to worst for this half is:
1 Kupono and Kayla - contemporary
2 Brandon and Janette - tango
3 Randi and Evan - hip hop
4 Melissa and Ade - disco
5 Jeanine and Philip - Russian folk dance
6 Caitlin and Jason - fox trot
***
The big news for the second half of the show is that the partners are being split up next week, which is tough because some of these partnerships are so perfect. One thought, though, who the heck else is short enough to dance with Evan?
Routine 2:
Melissa and Ade - waltz
Good. Not too interesting.
Kupono and Kayla - Broadway
Love at first sight on a rooftop Loads of fun, very sweet.
Caitlin and Jason - jazz
Jason shirtless is surprisingly pretty. Well-danced, but bored me stupid.
Philip and Jeanine - jive
Best routine of part two, the lesser part, thus far. And my Philip was awesome!
Randi and Evan - samba
Now I love Evan, but he really shouldn't wear outfits open to the waist, it's not quite as thrilling as shirtless Jason. But the dance itself was crazy awesome. I liked it better than the judges did.
Brandon and Janette - jazz
Burglers. Terrific! A partnership that shouldn't break up.
Second half in order of how I liked them:
1 Brandon and Janette - jazz
2 Philip and Jeanine - jive
3 Randi and Evan - samba
4 Kupono and Kayla - Broadway
5 Caitlin and Jason - jazz
6 Melissa and Ade - waltz
So I'd have to put them in this order for the whole evening, Brandon and Janette soared above everyone, then, mostly on the strength of the first dance, Kupono and Kayla. Third, I go back and forth between Evan and Randi and Philip and Jeanine, but I think that the Russian dance tips the latter into fourth place, which makes E and R third, then Melissa and Ade and last Caitlin and Jason.
And I predict that the two to leave will be Jason and Melissa.
Edited to add: SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS. Read at your own risk.
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Running lights for a very dull show that has practically no cues, but it's too distracting to read (currently The Blue Castle) so I thought I'd write an entry.
Yeah, and after that, I missed one of the very few cues that I have! But they didn't wait for me to do it, just went on, so it didn't look to the audience like I made a mistake. Whoops! I'll know tomorrow to wait until AFTER that cue to start zoning out.
***
So I was all depressed on Sunday and Monday, but I got over it, because I have things to do and don't have time for all that nonsense.
I saw Public Enemies at SAG on Monday, which was absolutely dreadful. Okay, not dreadful, but not so much good as not good. I liked Johnny Depp plenty, but the movie itslef was just so long and slow and dull and you know what happens when you have a gunfight between twenty dark haired white men in dark suits and fedoras? It's really hard to tell what's going on or who's winning. It's also hard to care.
I looked at my watch about fifty times. The minutes flew by like centuries.
***
They keep saying ATM machine in this show. If they say ATM machine one more time, I will start screaming.
***
Let's see, what else? It was Mom's birthday yesterday, which I didn't so much forget as forget that there were several post office holidays before it!
So I did go into the city on Sunday to send her some of the books that I got her at the expo, because of course the main branch stays open all the time, and I sent it off before 5p, but she didn't get it ontime.
Today no dogwalking, but I went into the city to meet up with Blake and give him some mail and have dinner. He had just had an absolutely miserable day, which I thought was just punishment.
All I needed was for him to be miserable for one single day, now I'm fine for him to be happy. See? I'm not too spiteful.
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I am fairly weighed down with depression. Blake moved out yesterday and today I feel huge and slow and heavy inside myself.
The funny thing is that I always loved living alone, it was always my first choice, roommates are for suckers, if you're over 30 and you're not married to them or fucking them, it's ridiculous for you to be living with them, I've always said.
But now I see that if it's your best friend, that's the best reason of all. Or I imagine, not having had a husband. I imagine that if your spouse were your best friend, that would be the ideal version of this situation.
Yesterday we got up crazy early, had our special brunch in the city, got the Uhaul, made the move, bathed ( two bathrooms in the new place), returned the van, picked up Peggy, met Eddie and Rachel, picnicked at the Cloisters, all in all it was a really fun day.
And now I'm here and I'm just so sad. He says that it's only for a year, but I'm sure that was just to make me feel better, he probably won't come back.
I'll feel better soon, I know that this won't last. But for now, I just feel like I'm drowning, not waving.
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I would like to preface this by saying that my mother does know how babies are made, she just got confused with that whole sperm thing.
***
Mom: Karl Malden died
Me: I know, they just won't stop dying!
Mom: It,s an epidemic! They want to be part of history! They will be forever on the list: who joined michael jackson in death!
(Note: remember that Michael Jackson and I shared a dermatologist, Dr. Arnold Klein, and I have known MJ's baby mama, Debbie Rowe, since I was 14)
Mom: Dr klein is refusing to talk. Is being accused to be the father of michael's children. And debbie was a carrier of the children but not the mother.
Me: Good heavens, now THAT'S interesting!
Mom: I meant debbie was surrogate mother. And not her sperm. I could'nt think of the word before! I know you understood. But I just thought of the word.
Me: I believe you mean not her EGG, not sperm! But Dr. Klein as the father is hilarious!
Mom: No!!! She supposedly is not the mother. Supposedly erything was put in her body. A his and a her! Maybe it just is an egg!
Me: I know what a surrogate is, for heaven's sake!
Mom: I thought sometimes a surrogate mother used her own sperm and the man donated his sperm.
Me: Women don't have sperm, crazy! Mostly the definition of a surrogate mother means that the use a donated egg, though sometimes they will use their own.
Mom: What do you call a woman's? Is it an egg? I thought the egg was formed when the woman and the man's joined.
Me: No you insane lunatic! The woman has an egg, the man has the sperm, put together they make an embryo.
Mom: Better late than never.
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And I woke up and immediately said, "Four baby owls is too many owls!!" Subconscious, you are on notice, that was a very exhausting night's sleep!
Phillip and Jeanine aka The Popper and Anne Hathaway - Hip Hop
AWESOME! SO AWESOME! I was so bored with Phillip last week, who cares about popping? But this dance was not only completely amazing, but it was being danced by a hip hop dancer and a totally not hip hop dancer, and they danced it completely together, not like the real dancer and the beginner. Loved it, loved everything about it. Both of them are now on my faves list.
Asuka and Vitolio aka Asian Ballroom and the Orphan - Broadway
Bleh. And no matter what the judges said, it's because it's a terrible routine with terrible choreography and it's all the choreographer's fault. Boo. Asuka may be dropping out of my faves, and Vitolio certainly hasn't jumped on it, but I do completely blame the choreographer. And like Adam said, it didn't help that they followed this amazing dance that had such feeling and emotion with this bit of boring bleh fluff.
Karla and Jonathan aka Some Dark Haired Girl and the Twelve-Year-Old - Cha-Cha
Also, really awesome! Hugely sexy and fun. And that split he did through her legs, followed by her doing an aerial over his shoulder, completely cool. They are right up there for me now, too!
Randi and Evan aka Unitard and Broadway - Jazz
The same crappy choreographer as Asuka and Vitolio's piece, this was mildly better, but not much. They are dancing well, but I think I hate this choreographer a whole big bunch. And honestly, she was talking about how hard it was, being married, to act like she was in love in the routine, but that's idiotic, isn't she a dancer? Does she normally dance alone in rooms?
Paris and Tony aka Car Crash Girl and The Comedian - Hip Hop
Another great routine! The hip hop choreographers are definitely my faves. I liked it much better than the judges did.
Caitlin and Jason aka The Sister and Another Little Kid - Indian
I'm no expert on Indian dancing, but I think that he was more authentic than she was. She danced it well, but didn't seem that Indian. And I don't think I was being distracted by her blonde hair. Probably.
Janette and Brandon aka La Cubana and The Superstar - Foxtrot
Very nice indeed. Mary makes a Botox joke, and since I have been thinking how terribly over-fixed her face is, it's not funny, they should keep her away from the damn plastic surgeon, she looks monstrous. Back to the dancers, very nice indeed.
Ashley and Kupono aka The Pixie and The Hawaiian - Jazz
The crash test dummy routine, awfully precious, over-costumed, over-storied, over-propped, and I loved it. She is completely adorable.
Melissa and Ade aka The Ballerina and The Pick - Contemporary
Beautiful, but I'm a little bored. The judges all loved it, I think that the music just put me to sleep and I couldn't see the dance for the boring old Buble.
Kayla and Max aka Blondie and The Ruskie - Samba
Super super awesome, a great way to end the show! He is one hell of a samba dancer, wow!
Okay, so my favourite routines were definitely Phillip and Jeanine, Karla and Jonathan, Ashley and Kupono and Kayla and Max, none of which were the four dancers that I mentioned at the beginning! I still like them, of course, but they didn't do the top routines of the night, they just didn't.
And on a side note, good God, Mary has the most annoying voice on television. It's not so much the screaming, I think, that it's her voice comes straight from her throat so whether she's screaming or just speaking she sounds so strained that it just makes you want to drink some water immediately. It doesn't help that she follows Adam, who sounds so sensible, and precedes Nigel, who has such a beautiful tone, not to mention Cat, next to all of them she just sounds like such a harpy. How do people watch this show for more than one season? She makes me want to stab her in the throat.
***
Elizabeth: Hey! I am not exactly clear on when my mother is showing up but it could be any time. Hope that is ok -- I will try to make it quick. I just asked Anne if she wants to join us but not sure if she can / wants to!
Kymm: Anne who, annegrrl Anne?
Elizabeth: Yes, she is the original SYTYCD fan ... I believe she actually saw the tour. She is that kind of fan.
Kymm: Good heavens! Although had I had any money at all I would have gone to see the Dancing With the Stars tour, I'll tell you.
Elizabeth: Oh, I know you would have! Okay, let me grab my iced coffee and then we can start whenever. I apologize in advance for the mom interruption, but I need her help so am at the mercy of her schedule.
Elizabeth: Okay, I am poised & ready. Just holla when you are ... if this all goes horribly wrong, we never need to do it again!
Kymm: Okay, hang on a second, nearly there.
Kymm: Okay, I'm ready, when you say now, hit play and I will too!
Elizabeth: okay!
Elizabeth: right now house's face is on my screen paused.
Elizabeth: r u ready?
Elizabeth: i mean, now!
Kymm: O, I already pressed play, then I rewound.
Elizabeth: we are spastic!
Kymm: You rewind too, then just say NOW
Elizabeth: i am laughing.
Elizabeth: okay.
Elizabeth: NOW!
Elizabeth: I love that precious Broadway boy.
Elizabeth: Brace yourself, there will be tears.
Kymm: Me too! I like the brothers and Tony, I can't remember who else I like.
Elizabeth: I enjoy Cat Deeley looking adorable in early 1990s Seattle grungewear.
Kymm: Man, if they only pick one of the brothers, I will fall over in a puddle on the floor.
Elizabeth: PAUSE!
Kymm: Paused!
Elizabeth: my mom called, will be here in about 5. let us proceed until then.
Elizabeth: and unpause!
Elizabeth: I would just like to say for the record that I love and adore Debbie Allen and Adam Shankman.
Elizabeth: There's your boy Tony!
Kymm: We probably aren't quite synched, but close enough for jazz.
Elizabeth: Long and lonely walk ...
Elizabeth: Hello everybody!
Elizabeth: Oh dear, this girl is talking about car accidents and breakups.
Elizabeth: She is very sexy!
Kymm: Jeanette is about to start dancing.
Kymm: If they ever stop talking.
Elizabeth: Her outfit reminds me of the ones on Solid Gold that made my mom forbid me to watch it as a child.
Elizabeth: And Jeanette is through!
Kymm: O I get it, it's just a torturous talk with each of them, no dancing.
Elizabeth: Nigel is a pervert, just prepare yourself.
Elizabeth: Prepare yourself also to see a bunch of people they've never shown before, such as this girl.
Elizabeth: Debbie Allen's hair is so pretty.
Elizabeth: I want her to be my life coach.
Kymm: Well, they have to introduce them or else we won't know to be happy or not!
Elizabeth: Totally.
Elizabeth: Prepare for Lil C to speak nonsense that is somehow profound.
Kymm: I have guessed that whenever they say "We are all pulling for you!" or "You have done so well" it means they are cut.
Elizabeth: We can sync up after this commercial break!
Elizabeth: I wish I were there to hold your hand, I know you get stressed!
Kymm: You can't tell from clips if they are crying from being cut or being kept!
Elizabeth: let's pause on the guy doing a headstand.
Kymm: Did it!
Elizabeth: crap, my mother is here. pause, i am sorry, i will try tom make this fast!
Kymm: Well, I'm paused on the headstand guy!
Elizabeth: jeez, i am so sorry, she was super chatty and finally i threw her out the door!
Kymm: Don't throw your mother out the door!
Elizabeth: i am also on headstand guy. i hope this has not messed up your whole morning!
Kymm: She gave birth to you, you ungrateful daughter!
Elizabeth: i told her i would come visit tonight and we could have a long chat then.
Elizabeth: i don't think she would understand the chatting thing so i didn't try to explain that i had a DATE!
Kymm: Okay, then, I guess that's okay.
Kymm: heehee
Elizabeth: okay, ready?
Kymm: Ready!
Elizabeth: go!
Kymm: Yay!
Elizabeth: when you see people getting neckrubs on TV, doesn't it make you want one really bad?
Elizabeth: diahrrea moment!
Kymm: Not until you mentioned it, thanks very much.
Elizabeth: he is sensational -- vitolio? vitalio?
Kymm: He wants to be good tv.
Elizabeth: the haitian. i like him a lot.
Kymm: Do all of them ave sob stories?
Elizabeth: oh, he grew up in an orphanage. he BETTER MAKE IT or i will be pissed.
Elizabeth: vitolio is stressed and i am too.
Kymm: He's not making it through
Elizabeth: nice pan up his hot bod!
Elizabeth: don't even say that!
Elizabeth: yay!
Elizabeth: he is super precious.
Kymm: The rapper started with "um", which made me think he was breaking hard news.
Elizabeth: i would like you to pay special attention to adam shankman's face when they spill the news to the contestants. he is so empathetic & wonderful.
Elizabeth: Lil C is not a rapper, you lunatic! He is the King of Krump.
Kymm: He's black, whatever.
Kymm: heeheehee
Elizabeth: Oh Lord.
Elizabeth: Montage of cuts ...
Elizabeth: I blame that guy's vest.
Kymm: At least they are getting a moment on screen.
Elizabeth: Cat gives the best hugs. I want to be hugged by Cat before I die.
Elizabeth: Yeah, and it's a clip to roll when they come back next year.
Kymm: ...before being sent home in disgrace and shame.
Elizabeth: Totally. And Ray LaMontagne is now being used in montages of cuts. I wonder how he feels about this. Nigel LOVES blonde contemporary dancers so I will be shocked if this girl does not make it
Elizabeth: (Kayla, surely named after Kayla Brady in the 80s.)
Kymm: Do they really have to walk down a hallway with pictures and videos of themselves playing?
Elizabeth: Yes. Yes, they do.
Kymm: Who the heck is Kayla Brady?
Elizabeth: When Mia Michaels is nice, I truly can't process it. It's so unlike her.
Elizabeth: Kayla Brady -- the character on Days of Our Lives all 20something women named Kayla are named after.)
Kymm: They panned down the judges clapping, all but Debbie Allen, I guess her vote was no!
Elizabeth: The judges are about to fight, I love it.
Elizabeth: And ... commercial!
Kymm: O, of course, the one who went deaf and immediately knew sign language, like it came with the hearing loss automatically.
Elizabeth: Yes, that's her!
Kymm: Are we fast forwarding to the handstand?
Elizabeth: Yes. I am paused on the headstand right now. I am not sure who it is. Possibly Gev, the breakdancer from last season who was very in love with his partner.
Kymm: Okay, I'm set.
Elizabeth: My cat is now lying on my hand. Get off, cat! I am trying to type.
Elizabeth: (hang for cat removal ... okay, ready!) AND NOW!
Kymm: Went!
Elizabeth: You need to know that one of the top people last year was Mark the Hawaiian. So this Pono is kind of a callback to Mark, which matters to me for some reason.
Elizabeth: I think Pono is very very handsome!
Kymm: I like him better with the hair.
Elizabeth: And he has an adorable to-do list!
Elizabeth: I don't like his flavor savor but I like his cute chest.
Elizabeth: Is he wearing a twist-tie through his earring hole?
Kymm: Hallway of doom!
Elizabeth: PONO!
Kymm: I didn't see.
Elizabeth: Adam!
Kymm: Cutting!
Elizabeth: I love you, Adam Shankman.
Elizabeth: No no no, Pono.
Kymm: Being forced to cut against his will!
Elizabeth: But no!
Kymm: Psych!
Elizabeth: Debbie Allen loves Pono, as do I.
Kymm: Man, they are sneaky.
Elizabeth: Adam Shankman is applauding with tearful joy.
Kymm: The one who looks like Hayley Mills doesn't like the fags.
Elizabeth: I want to make out with Pono.
Kymm: Skipping through the saves?
Elizabeth: Mary? Hah on Hayley Mills! She does, sort of. She is a permanent judge, like Nigel, there every week. She screams A LOT.
Elizabeth: Montage of saves.
Elizabeth: Oh, Brandon.
Kymm: Stop it with the Brandon craziness.
Elizabeth: Controversy. And meanness.
Elizabeth: Here we go.
Kymm: I see nothing about him that is different, better or worse than any of the other dancers.
Kymm: Mia is a real cunt.
Elizabeth: I have a lot to say about this. Why is Mia Michaels making Brandon all about her? How can she keep saying he rubs her the wrong way and that he bugs the shit out of her? Why is this personal?
Elizabeth: Hate.
Kymm: She's got a never talking about attitude.
Elizabeth: HATE.
Kymm: Nerve.
Elizabeth: Debbie Allen gets it. She gets Brandon. Mia Michaels is an assclown. My theory is that this is because Sonja loves him and she is threatened by Sonja's awesomeness.
Elizabeth: Mary can't even get the words out, she is so mad!
Kymm: Who is Sonja? The one with the mohawk?
Elizabeth: Phew, he's in. (Yes, that is Sonja.)
Elizabeth: I HATE YOU, MIA.
Elizabeth: At least Lil C was not hateful about it.
Elizabeth: Oh I forgot about the brothers. I don't know if I can take it. And is it wrong that I think Tony is beautiful? He is so tall and fabulous.
Elizabeth: And ... headstand.
Kymm: Got it.
Elizabeth: And GO!
Elizabeth: Tony looks like he might be about to pop a gasket.
Elizabeth: He is shaking like a leaf! The poor Italian preciousness.
Kymm: So the judges are Nigel, Bitchy Mia, Broadway, Krunky and Hayley Mills, got it.
Elizabeth: Ha! Yes, basically.
Elizabeth: And Debbie Allen -- and others who are not there tonight.
Kymm: OF COURSE his brother is in Afghanistan.
Kymm: Debbie Allen goes without saying.
Elizabeth: Of course. What does "lack of vocabulary in your dancing" mean?
Kymm: Hooray!
Elizabeth: I love him.
Kymm: It means that he doesn't have a lot of different techniques.
Elizabeth: Oh, okay.
Elizabeth: Cat is excited, as is America.
Elizabeth: Cue montage of yesses!
Kymm: I want the girl in the tutu to go through. I love that she's been in an effing tutu all day long.
Elizabeth: And the token Eastern European!
Kymm: Sister in!
Elizabeth: Kaitlyn is a survivor because she had hip surgery, btw.
Elizabeth: She has the most smokin' bod I have ever seen on a woman, possiblyl.
Elizabeth: There is your tutu girl! She's in!
Elizabeth: I love Jason -- there is something lovely in his face, he seems like the real deal.
Elizabeth: Ashley looks exactly like Christina Ricci.
Kymm: I love the way, though, with Tony, they cut it earlier to seem as though Nigel was being mean and saying "Don't look so surprised" to his lack of technique, not his getting in!
Kymm: But...
Elizabeth: And she's in.
Kymm: Goddamn it they are good at fooling me!
Elizabeth: Why do I hate people who say "oh my Gosh?"
Elizabeth: OMG, look at that blue bodysuit.
Kymm: Gosh is swearing as much as god is, so it doesn't help.
Kymm: Lord have mercy, it's bad!
Elizabeth: I am scared of her outfit
Elizabeth: Mia called her a tigress. Shut up, Mia.
Elizabeth: Although I do agree that the unitards are "no joke."
Kymm: I do like her saying you are committed to your unitards!
Elizabeth: Yeah. She is cute, and so are her headbands. I can't remember her name, though. We shall call her Unitard Girl.
Kymm: If they leave the brothers down to be last and choosing between them I will be so pissed.
Elizabeth: Kymm, you are obviously new to this show. Of course that is what they are gonna do!
Kymm: I hate them.
Elizabeth: (pee break ... BRB!)
Kymm: Okay, I'm at headstand when you are.
Elizabeth: ok back.
Elizabeth: and ... go!
Kymm: Gone!
Elizabeth: okay, there are only 3 more to go!
Elizabeth: oh, brothers. i will miss one of you.
Elizabeth: alex wong is one of the best guys there for SURE. i think he is in.
Kymm: I love the little Asian girl, I want her to go through!
Kymm: And there's Pop-n-Lock.
Elizabeth: LOOK AT HIS BODY!
Elizabeth: Oh yeah, Chbeeb! I think there are only 2 guy spots left. What if NEITHER brother makes it?
Elizabeth: Oh my God.
Kymm: However...
Elizabeth: Alex is gorgeous. And I have seen YouTube of him doing the All The Single Ladies Beyonce dance dressed as a Musketeer.
Elizabeth: Oh ... oh dear. Oh dear, I might start crying ... and ... he's out.
Elizabeth: The judges look griefstriken.
Elizabeth: I mean grief stricken.
Elizabeth: Oh, he is precious and crying and feels trapped in ballet.
Kymm: It's like Pierce Brosnan not being able to do Bond because of Remington Steele!
Elizabeth: Haaaaaaaaa.
Elizabeth: He is adorable and they are really encouraging him not to go back and be miserable.
Kymm: Debbie Allen is such an earth mother.
Elizabeth: I appreciate that. Sometimes these judges are really great. I might need to pause and collect myself after Alex Wong.
Elizabeth: We might need to rewind and watch the judges being nice again.
Kymm: I do love Nigel, though, he's my favourite.
Elizabeth: He is okay when he's not being (a) pervy and (b) homophobic. He always tells the guys to butch up and it makes me mad.
Elizabeth: Montage of cuts.
Elizabeth: Chbeeb is going in. I will be extremely shocked if he does not make it, esp. as a holdover fave from last year.
Kymm: Well, in dance it's important that the gay dancers can dance without necessarily showing it, like in acting.
Elizabeth: (That is a serious topic we will have to address at another time ... I am very interested in it.)
Kymm: How the hell is his name Chbeeb?
Elizabeth: It just is! Like Chah-beeb.
Elizabeth: They love him, he is in like Flynn, I just know it.
Kymm: When they say he's grown, that's bad...
Elizabeth: I am getting moved.
Kymm: Adam is a very good actor, he's better than all of them at keeping his cards hidden till the last minute.
Elizabeth: Adam Shankman makes me cry. He loves dancing so much and loves dancers who love dancing. He is in, probably coasting on a lot of leftover goodwill.
Elizabeth: I had no idea he directed Hairspray until he was already my favorite judge, which sent my love into the stratosphere.
Kymm: Aw, how cute is he with the finger waving in the hallway!
Kymm: Only one goddamn brother.
Elizabeth: This thing with the brothers is going to send me over the edge. Although I would think the older brother really wants the younger to get through --
Kymm: I hate you bastards.
Elizabeth: BUT, he's probably very close to the cutoff age of 30 and might not be able to try again.
Kymm: Which one is older, baldy?
Elizabeth: yep
Kymm: handstand
Elizabeth: and google has shown me that he already has kind of a bangin' career as a choreographer and some kind of dance captain for broadway touring shows or some shit.
Elizabeth: i am sad, okay, let's be strong, and GO!
Kymm: I do like Cat's Northern accent.
Elizabeth: they are openly crying, these brothers are such heart wearers on sleevers, i love them
Kymm: I want the Asian girl and the older brother to go.
Elizabeth: go where? home, or through?
Kymm: Go through to 20.
Elizabeth: what is her name? oksa?
Kymm: Her name is Asian Ballroom.
Elizabeth: oska?
Elizabeth: Okay. Debbie Allen is gorgeous, this cannot be said enough.
Kymm: Oska is more likely.
Elizabeth: (Last year she had to recuse herself because one of her students made top 20, and I really missed her. I am glad she is back.)
Elizabeth: (Debbie, I mean.)
Kymm: Yay Oska!
Elizabeth: Okay, Asian Ballroom is pretty cute. It's nice to have some ballroomers in there to cancel out the contemporary overload.
Elizabeth: They are adorable, it's like the older one is his dad.
Elizabeth: Oh shit, what does "you're due for some good news" mean? Does this mean he has a tragic backstory we have not seen (older brother I mean)??
Kymm: They do, however, look like they are about to start making out.
Elizabeth: Yeah, they have a literal bromance.
Elizabeth: Loud annoying crying from the girls. Let's move on.
Elizabeth: This poor girl lacks a chin.
Kymm: It's got to be hard to be the last one cut.
Kymm: I really think that the younger one is staying and the older one is going.
Elizabeth: I have to say I love Evan more (the younger one).
Elizabeth: Someone posted somewhere they want the brothers to do Singin in the Rain with Evan in the Gene Kelly role and the older brother in the other role. I would pay good cash $ to see that, I have to say.
Kymm: That's a good show!
Elizabeth: This is hard to watch.
Elizabeth: Did Nigel just say that they dance "burlesque" style? WTF?
Kymm: He means vaudeville.
Elizabeth: And, baby brother is through. Adam is trying to hide his tears and probably plotting how he can hire the older brother to work for him.
Elizabeth: He took his cap off! He is bald and proud. They are adorable.
Elizabeth: I feel drained.
Kymm: They say Ryan see you next time, so he might not be too old to go again.
Elizabeth: "It's like an OLD HOLLYWOOD MUSICAL!" -- Nigel.
Elizabeth: Oh, it's "Asuka."
Elizabeth: Which is the name of my Sri Lankan yard man, only he says "Ah-SOO-kah."
Kymm: And Chpeeple or whatever's real name is Phillip!
Elizabeth: Yes, Chbeeb is his last name, silly!
Elizabeth: Okay -- the real question is, are you in or are you out?
Kymm: I thought it was like a rap name or something!
Elizabeth: Ha!
Kymm: Yeah yeah, I'm in. This was fun watching it this way, although all the typing kept me from crying.
Elizabeth: Okay. Just know that next week, they will be paired up boy/girl.
Kymm: And they will be kicked out boy/girl?
Elizabeth: I can't really remember how they do the eliminations.
I think it might be 2 eliminations per week until the top 10? And I don't think they necessarily kick off the couple together. It's kind of a blur honestly.
Kymm: Actually, it wouldn't be fair if they did.
Elizabeth: I am so excited you are watching! Now all is right with the world.
Kymm: All right, you pusher you.
Little microphone problem there on the outset, but there's Elton singing while two Billys are dancing, but where is the third? There's the third! Wait, there's like eleven, and they are on wires! Very cool!
And here are the Jets and the Sharks singing "Tonight", and more sound problems, the audience is better mic'd than the performers! All fixed, I think, but it's hard to tell because they doing Guys and Dolls and West Side Story simultaneously.
And now, here's Poison. There are no words. Except for possibly to warn everyone to watch out for pig shit falling from the skies! And actually? Really kind of awesome.
And what can follow flying multiple Billys, "Tonight" and "Lucky be a Lady Tonight" sung at the same time, and then actually factually Bret Michaels and Poison? Well, Stockard Channing, of course, singing "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered!", and then being joined by some guy singing something from something that I am assuming is "Next to Normal".
And now it's the entire cast of Shrek. And now Dolly, singing "Nine to Five"! Joined by the cast. Seriously, it's seven minutes into the show, will there be any other performances later, or are they taking care of all of Broadway musicals in the first ten minutes? Maybe because they are leaving room for scenes from the plays? Ha! O I slay me.
And it's Liza. Singing "But the World Goes Round". I wonder what the contingency plan was is she didn't show up or was too drunk? She's singing like shit, but she's Liza and she's upright, so we forgive her.
We think it's the end, because who can follow Liza? Only the Tribe, singing "Let the Sun Shine" and running all over the theatre, and everyone joining them and running on the stage, and I think the show is over, who needs the Tonys after that? Every single Broadway performer, including Liza, in a big love-in! We are done, actual awards could only be a big comedown afterwards.
And there's our host, Neil Patrick Harris! He's adorable and self-depreciating and will be a great host. I can't believe that Michael Riedel said on Theatre Talk the other night that it's too bad that James Gandolfini refused the hosting job. And he was serious! Apparently he has never seen James Gandolfini on a talk show or giving an interview, the man defines monosyllabic.
"Now, let's bring on the Constantine Maroulis jokes!" Cut to Constantine in the audience, pouting playfully. I have an acquaintance who works on Rock of Ages, and she says they know perfectly well that they aren't winning a damn thing, so they are enjoying their nominations to the fullest!
And they just showed James Gandolfini in the audience, who looked miserable, and not even jokingly miserable, just flat out "When can I get out of this tux and out of this audience and away from this camera, argh!" If Shrek were an actual person, he'd be James Gandolfini.
Jane Fonda (who follows me on Twitter, have I mentioned that a thousand times already?) is presenting Best Featured Actor in a Play. And I certainly hope that John Glover shaved his head for Waiting for Godot, not because he always yearned to look like the Grim Reaper.
Roger Robinson wins for Joe Turner's Come and Gone, and Jane Fonda really almost clearly said "O shit" when she saw that her costar from 33 Variations didn't win.
They just showed, going into commercial, a couple of brief moments from God of Carnage, and it looks like it was filmed in my living room in California! Really, we have those walls!
A number from Shrek, starting with a whole bunch of bad jokes, then more sound problems! Like ten people singing, but only one mic turned on! Is the sound man high? Lord Farquad is played by the reincarnation of Paul Lynde on his knees. That actor is going to be permanently crippled by this show, no question about it. Oops, in that shot he was clearly standing on his black-clad legs, running upstage with his little fake legs bouncing in the air.
Jeff Daniels and James Gandolfini are presenting. And Gandolfini says "For the record, Shrek and I are no relation!" so I guess he read my mind! Seemingly an ad-lib, Daniels about pissed himself laughing, cut to a shot of Brian D'Arcy James in the audience in his Shrek makeup, looking Shrek-y with irritation. Very cute.
They are presenting Featured Actress in a Play. And the nominees are, a bunch of people you don't know and Angela Lansbury! I can guess who will win. And not because she's famous, but because she's a big honkin' Broadway star who won't be living forever, darlin'. Called that one. And she looks, in her ice cream suit and her short blonde hair, exactly like Mame. And she is a little teary, how dear.
Now is part of the "We hate plays" section of the broadcast, the touring company of Mamma Mia. On the other hand, it must be very exciting for the performers to be on the Tonys instead of onstage in the boonies, but they kind of are mediocre, frankly, and have nothing to do with the current Tony season. And are also clearly backed by a vocal track, as those dancers ain't singing, so I guess they only flew in the three female stars. After the most expensive opening number in the history of the Tonys, I guess they had to cut corners somewhere.
Holy crap on a crutch, they are actually showing scenes from the plays! Filmed scenes, not live, but I am falling over from the shock. Okay, not shocked anymore, the intro was 32 seconds, the actual clip was 16 seconds. Compared to the number from Mamma Mia, which was about six or seven hours long, we are back to "We hate plays".
Will Ferrell is presenting Best Score, and he also mentioned that Billy Elliot had won Best Book in the earlier, untelevised "We hate people who aren't famous" section of the Tonys. Next to Normal wins, and they mention on the voiceover that they also won Best Orchestrations earlier. They are getting played off; too long, score-winners!
The number from West Side Story is the dance at the gym. I's rather hear the Spanish/English singing, personally, but the number is pretty awesome. Although if that guy dancing with who is clearly Anita is Bernardo, he needs a haircut. Bernardo isn't a beatnik! Okay, now Tony and Maria sing a little bit of "Tonight" and she can barely hit that note! Microphones are unforgiving, guys.
Susan Sarandon presents Best Direction of a Play. Matthew Warchus of course wins, since he was nominated for for God of Carnage and The Norman Conquests, so with four plays, he should win. Though officially it's for Carnage.
Now she presents Best Direction of a Musical, and of course it goes to Billy Elliot And everyone knew it would, including the other nominees. The director of Next to Normal held up a snapshot of his kids when they were announcing the nominees. Clearly he knew that he wouldn't have a chance to on that stage!
Musical number from the little rock musical that could, Rock of Ages. Including one of the performers calling Liza Minelli a "nasty little Tony-nominated freak machine"! She should get that printed up on business cards, that is fabulous. And Constantine starts singing "Don't Stop Believing" and the entire audience is holding up little lights, like it's their lighters, and it's the good old days, before Zippo apps, when there were just real Zippos at your rock shows. Sigh. I'm old. And I have a Zippo app on my phone, so I'm also a hypocrite. I don't care if it's not a real musical, this number beats Shrek all hollow. I particularly like that it ended with the announcer guy sliding crotch-first into the camera. Awe. Some.
Blake just came in from the other room (I am watching this on TiVo, he already saw it) and I was raving about Rock of Ages and it's overwhelming awesomeness, and he said, "Did you see Bret Michaels get knocked out in the opening number? Go to Gawker!" and so I did, and yes, I missed it, but it's hilarious, go look!
Edie Falco and her fake tan presents Special Theatrical Event. Seriously, her hair, skin and lipstick are all the same colour of beige. And the winner is, not Will Ferrell as George Bush, but Liza's at the Palace! Well again, I suppose they thought that there might not be too many more opportunities for congratulating her on staying alive. The producer thanks a bunch of people including his wife and daughters before handing the microphone over to Liza, because they knew that nobody was going to play him off before she got a chance to speak. They are playing her off as she is thanking her parents. That Liza Minelli could get played off means two things, that the producers are more terrified of CBS than of the rage of the gays, and that God is dead.
Another really super short clip of a play, God of Carnage. Though at 24 seconds, it had what, 33% more screentime than 33 Variations! Apparently this was shot in widescreen, because they just showed a shot of an empty stage with a arm gesturing on the left side of the screen and a nose on the right. And that is not an exaggeration. If they are going to shoot it in widescreen that's fine, then show it in widescreen, with the black bars at the top and the bottom, I don't mind!
And now the number from Guys and Dolls, "Sit Down You're Rocking the Boat", which is always the Tony number for the show. And another big hilarious sound fuckup, with the guy playing Nicely Nicely's body mic not working, and you hear them in the booth saying "Am I going in with it? I'm going I'm going I'm going!" and then a guy running onstage with a handmic. Blake came into my room to re-watch this number.
Me: What the fuck is that?
Blake: That's why I don't want to see the show, they have no sets, only those projections.
Me: You mean that's really in the show? Not just for the Tonys?
Blake: Yep.
Me: Nicely Nicely being played by a black man isn't period.
Blake: (sarcastically) NOOOOOO! Really??!!
Me: I'm all for racially blind casting, but when it's out of period it drives me a little crazy.
Blake: He's not very good.
Me: Bring back Stubby Kaye!
Blake: You mean Walter Bobbie?
Me: No, the original original Nicely-Nicely.
(pause)
Me: I don't recall this role normally being played as a screaming queen.
Blake: When I played it, I didn't. But I did play it black.
(as it turns into a full-on gospel number)
Blake: That's not period, either.
Me: Not only isn't it period, it's not Damon Runyon!
Blake: Watch, this is even less period.
(as the Salvation Army woman spanks herself saying that she's been a very bad girl)
Me: Great God.
Blake: You couldn't drag me to see that production.
Me: I'd see Rock of Ages at least twenty times before going to see that abortion. And I effing love Craig Bierko!
Now they are showing clips from the steerage version of the Tonys, i.e. the before TV section, which used to actually be on TV, then it was on the separate PBS Tonys, now it's in a back alley somewhere and the winners get their statues flung at them from a moving truck. Wow, Lee Hall has one hell of a thick Geordie accent!
Lucie Arnez and Kate Burton, aka Children of the Famous Who Made Good introduce the "Working in the Theatre" evenings of talk. I get those on podcast, they are actually really great.
John Stamos, apparently coming soon to Broadway in a revival of Bye Bye Birdie of all things, presents Featured Actor in a Musical. If Will Swenson doesn't win for Hair, I'll be really pissed. He was so awesome as Berger. Boo! Gregory Jbara wins for Billy Elliot. He's so thrilled and he dragged his wife onstage, so I forgive him for beating Will Swenson and his beautiful soul. Dammit.
Best Featured Actress in a Musical, Karen Olivio as Anita in West Side Story. I'd really like to see that.
Carrie Fisher is presenting Next to Normal, apparently because it's a musical about manic-depression. It's a little on-the-nose, but I get it, and her double-take is very funny. Why she is wearing something from Debbie Reynolds' 1974 reject pile of clothing is another question. "Please welcome from the cast of Next to Normal...um, the cast of Next to Normal!"
Is anyone going to have a song without sound issues? I don't know if the electric guitar is turned up too loud of if the actress' mic is too soft, but I'm pretty certain that she shouldn't be quite so overpowered. Now her mic is so loud that it doesn't look like the sound is coming out of her. I'll bet they have a whole new sound crew for next year's show! This looks like a really good show.
Neil Patrick Harris comes on eating sushi, saying "I have so much energy! If I ate this all the time, I could do show after show after show, night after night after night!" which is a Jeremy Piven mercury poisoning joke. The audience howls with spitefulness.
Jessica Lange and her new face are presenting Leading Actor in a Play. Geoffrey Rush wins for Exit the King. He gets onstage and waves his little Rock of Ages light around. "The best thing tonight was being a little light among six thousand. The season on Broadway this year has been exactly that...I want to thank Manhattan audiences for proving that French existentialist absurdist tragi-comedy rocks!" Then he pronounces all of the other plays with a French accent, proving that they all are French existentialist absurdist tragi-comedies!
Dividing the Estate, my fave tonight as it started at the former day job. Badly shot, too short, I hate these clips. But I hate them less than not having them at all.
Bebe Niewirth is presenting the Parade of the Dead, though starting out with poor Natasha Richardson. They are showing people's faces while a choir sings and the camera swoops around, losing the pictures, or the names underneath. Did they rehearse this show, do you think? Because it seems as though they are making it up as they go along. Pat Hingle died? Clive Barnes died? Ending with Paul Newman, and then showing the lights being turned off on all the Broadway marquees.
More clips of people that won awards without TV cameras around. Although if that means not having to look at the green outfit that the costume designer for Shrek was sporting, I'm kind of all for it.
My beloved Frank Langella is presenting Lead Actress in a Play. To the tune of "And This is My Beloved" from Kismet for some completely unknown reason. "I don't know about the rest of you, but awards season always brings out the best in me. And I'm certain it brings out the best in the nominating committee as well. I'm sure they won't mind if I remind them that I did appear on Broadway this season... (laughter and applause) O no, it's too late, it's too late. I think they must have all been out of town in our four month sold-out run of A Man For All Season in September, October, November and December. It's easy to see why they might have missed us. The Roundabout Theatre did take an ad for me, I think I have it somewhere. (feels in his pockets, pulls out a piece of paper) O no, that's my Oscar acceptance speech. (feels more) O, here it is. It's entirely possible to have missed it, because it would have been easy not to notice it (pulls out a newspaper clipping of a giant picture of his face) Anyway, I would like to know that I don't hold any grudges against them, and I thought Geoffrey Rush was nice in that play. Now I'm sure there are five women in the audience who have not heard one word I have said in the last two minutes..." Frank Langella is always great at awards shows, and he shows that he doesn't even have to win to be great! The man is a speechmaker to the Gods.
They managed to mix up the shots of the two actresses in Mary Stuart showing Janet McTeer when announcing Harriet Walter's name and vice versa. One middle-aged British actress is very like another, apparently. And Marcia Gay Harden wins for God of Carnage. I'm assuming that she paid someone to do her hair that way. If it was more than the price of an egg-beater, she paid too much. And she clears up the Harriet/Janet mixup. Good for her. As she thanks James Gandolfini, he is seen making a comment over his shoulder to Edie Falco, who cracks up. I wish I knew what it was! Marcia gets played off.
Tiny clip of Reasons to be Pretty.
Elton John introduces the number from Billy Elliot, and the kid comes on before he is done. Clearly planned, but Elton is thrown to high heaven, struggling through the rest of the intro. Billy patiently waits, then says his line, "Mum would have let us," and Elton says, "Your Mum's dead, Billy." Was that what he freaked out about, knowing that he was supposed to say a line? He did it more realistically than the intro, frankly. Then that kid dances like a motherfucker, joined by the strikers and the policemen. Good God. No wonder three kids play this role. I don't even see how he does this dance one third of the performances times a week. How do they divide eight performances by three actors? Do they flip for who gets the extra day off per week?
They have been saying that the number from Hair was coming when the show returned for the last hour or longer. I am starting to doubt that it will ever happen.
My homegirl Gina Gershon, who also is coming to Broadway in Bye Bye Birdie, is in the ghetto announcing position of presenting the touring production of Legally Blonde, aka Who Cares?: The Musical.
Harvey Fierstein is presenting, in his voice that becomes more awesome by the minute, Best Revival of a Play. The Norman Conquests wins, with about 96 producers on the stage. And now, Best Play, which is (briefly interrupted by another sound issue) God of Carnage.
Angela Landsbury presents a filmed tribute to Jerry Herman. Isn't this a live show? About the 2008-2009 Broadway season? My mistake, carry on. It's about musicals, not plays, that's why they are doing it, I understand. I'm not saying that Jerry Herman doesn't deserve a lifetime Tony Award, I'm just trying to wave my little play-loving flag before it gets trampled down by all those tap shoes.
Anne Hathaway, who apparently is doing Twelfth Night in the park this year, presents the number from Hair. At mother-fucking LAST! And they are doing the title song, and there's Will, standing on the seats! I've got to see this again. And, like a gift to me, Gavin's mic goes out and Will gets an accidental solo. Nothing against Gavin Creel, he's not that lumpy bowl of porridge that was playing Claude in the park last year, he seems much less craptacular, but he ain't Will Swenson playing Gerry like nobody's business. I wish I could see who Will just shoved his crotch in the face of when he climbed on the seats again, but that guy was cringing! Gavin grabbed James Gandolfini's hand, and he actually seemed to be laughing! See? Hair is magical!
Seriously? Between this number and the Rock of Ages number, this is the best Tonys ever!
Kristin Chenowith presents Best Revival of a Musical. The nominees are Hair, Hair, Hair and Hair. Or possibly there are a couple other nominees, but I don't know why they bothered. And if they present the award right after the number, with the Tribe still right there, it's pretty obvious that they knew it wasn't going to be no Guys and Dolls in that envelope. And wow, everyone's on the stage, screaming their heads off! Hooray for Hair!
Neil Patrick Harris: "Coming out for the second time this month, David Hyde Pierce!" Presenting Actress in a Musical: "A sophisticated socialite, an ogress with attitude, a lovelorn Latina, a woman in the midst of a nervous breakdown, a working girl not to be trifled with, yes, I've been called many things!" Clearly he was told that they were running out of time, as he sped through that list. Alice Ripley wins for Next to Normal, which is, judging by the number earlier, fully deserved. And she seems so crazy in her speech that you see why she was cast in the role.
Audra "When I'm nominated, I win" McDonald presents Best Actor in a Musical, and of course the Billys win. Like three plays for Best Revival, three actors in one role kind of roll over the competition. And they stand up there shrugging, grinning and speechless. All of them thanked their families, and the funny part was the escalation of sisters. "I want to thank my mom, my dad, my brother and my sister." "I want to thank my mom, my dad and two sisters." "I want to thank my mom, my dad and my three sisters!" Fortunately, they got played off, or they'd be up there yet, with God knows how many sisters.
Yeah, thank goodness we sped through all this, so we are able to fit in four touring Frankie Valleys from Jersey Boys, and then the Broadway Frankie. We wouldn't want to miss this gold. Shit, bring back Shrek! Waste my time.
Liza, having been kept away from the booze for three whole hours, presents Best Musical. Wouldn't it be nice if Rock of Ages won? Wouldn't it be nice if I could flap my arms and fly to the moon? Of course Billy Elliot wins. "Yay!" says Liza, "Yay, yay!" Presumably because the bar is still open. A ton of small children are on the stage, jumping up and down, very sweet. The producer talks for over a minute without mentioning Lee Hall, which is somewhat shocking, then introduces Elton, who graciously tips his hat to the writers of Next to Normal, but also doesn't mention Lee Hall. You know, the guy who thought up the story, wrote the movie and then wrote the book of the musical, and clearly is made entirely out of a big slab of Geordie chopped liver.
Neil Patrick Harris is doing an actual eleven o'clock number! A recap, to the tune of "Tonight", of the show. I mean, some of it could have been planned in advance, there was a pretty good shot that Billy Elliot wasn't going home empty-handed, but if Angela Lansbury hadn't won, what would have happened to the line "What class, what drive, now Angela won five, and she hooked up with Poison backstage!"? or what about "Liza at the Palace, Mr. Ripley's daughter, Alice!"? How many songs did they have? What if Stockard Channing and Will Ferrell had won?
Best. Tonys. Ever. Though I have no doubt that tomorrow there will be a bunch of articles about how it was the lowest-rated Tony telecast ever, because it's the same article every year. Someday I'll be the last Tony viewer left. And by golly, I'll be watching it even when there isn't a single thing about plays left, and it's all about the tour of Cats on the moon, I'll still be watching. I'll be complaining, but I'll be watching.
Go see a Broadway play!
Anyway, I had dinner, watched Bones and The Mentalist and went to sleep, but I really wasn't capable of updating, particularly the complicated So You Think You Can Dance update that I had been planning. Yes, I am ashamed, but I have been sucked down into that maelstrom, you got me, you reality TV bastards, you got me. Sigh.
***
So the show went well last night, though I would far prefer to come on at the beginning and never be seen again, like in Boys in the Backroom or And Miss Reardon Drinks a Little than the opposite way, especially because there isn't a real dressing room and there are too many of us, so I went outside the theatre and hung on the stairs with Steve, who also comes in at the end, seating latecomers and shushing the goddamn audience for the goddamn show in the other goddamn theatre.
That said, I got a lot of laughs, and two things that I specifically was doing on purpose got mentioned by people, one was the fact that when I think that my daughter is dead, I really think that my daughter is dead, even though it's in the middle of a comic scene, and the other is me in the end party scene, where everyone is drunk and yelling and I am sitting there thinking, "I don't know any of these people, what's going on?"
It's my favourite kind of role, the small scene-stealer, not too much work, plenty of reward, but I'd rather have it without sitting on the stairs for an hour and a half first.
( one more of those pictures below the cut )
I'm watching the Bee finals now. My favourites are all out, we're down to the last three. I honestly think it's kind of cruel how they have the parents on the stage with the finalists, and now when they get dinged out they have to cross the stage and stay up there for the whole rest of the time! They used to be taken off to a crying room, while was much more humane, these are children for heaven's sake. This also means that when they lose and walk across the stage and sit with their parents, the camera catches them weeping as the next speller spells!
The sentences are crazy this year. They said that the sentences are made up by a committee, but I'm pretty certain that there's somebody new on that committee this year who used to be a sitcom writer!
"David didn't expect much in relationships, only that fedelini (pasta) be spooned into his mouth and that he be fanned with a palm frond on warm days."
"Stacy told Alex his dating prospects might increase significantly if he started bathing hebdomadally (weekly)."
"While most people could ignore the sheik's weight gain, his deloul (camel) did not have that luxury."
"Erin awoke from a dream thinking he was in Sheol (the underworld) but realized it was still seventh-period biology."
And Kavya Shivashankar wins! They were pegging her as a frontrunner from the start, and she lived up to the hype!
***
Okay, here are the books that I got from the Expo yesterday, if it has an asterisk, that means that it's a children's or YA book:
A Gate at the Stairs by Lorrie Moore, autographed galley
Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl, galley
A Reliable Wife by Robert Goolrick, autographed
A Carrion Death by Michael Stanley, autographed
The Second Death of Goodluck Tinubu by Michael Stanley, autographed
Blood Alone by James R. Benn, autographed
Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom, galley (honestly I got this accidentally, do you want it?)
* Keeping Score by Linda Sue Park, autographed
* The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart
* The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Perilous Journey by Trenton Lee Stewart
* Rosie and Skate by Beth Ann Bauman, galley
Secret Agenda by Jerry Banks, autographed galley
Uncivil Seasons by Michael Malone, autographed
A Bit of Scandal by Mary Rose Callaghan, autographed
* Fire by Kristin Cashore, galley
* Marvelous World by Troy Cle
Zig-Zagging: Loving Madly, Losing Badly - How Ziggy Saved My Life
by Tom Wilson, autographed
The Way Home byGeorge Pelecanos, autographed galley
* Once Was Lost by Sara Zarr, galley
* The Seems: The Glitch in Sleep by John Hulme and Michael Wexler
* Lincoln and His Boys by P.J. Lynch
* The Warrior Heir by Cinda Williams Chima
* Going Bovine by Libba Bray, galley
* I'm a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President by Josh Lieb, galley
* Happy Birthday Bad Kitty by Nick Bruel
* Along For the Ride by Sarah Dessen
The Big Kahn by Neil Kleid and Nicolas Cinquegrani, autographed excerpt of a graphic novel
* The 13th Reality, Book 1: The Journal of Curious Letters
by James Dashner, autographed
* David Inside Out by Lee Bantle,
* Everything for a Dog by Ann M. Martin, galley
* Pop by Gordon Korman, galley
* Geektastic: Stories from the Nerd Herd by Holly Black and Cecil Castellucci
* Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw by Jeff Kinney, autographed
The Pattern in the Carpet by Margaret Drabble, galley
Red Hot Lies by Laura Caldwell, autographed
* When You Meet a Bear on Broadway Amy Hest and Elivia Savadier
* The Runaway Mummy by Michael Rex (parody of The Runaway Bunny)
* Adventures in Cartooning by James Sturm, Andrew Arnold and Alexis Frederick-Frost
Just a Simple Wedding - A For Better of For Worse Collection by Lynn Johnston, autographed
Summer on Blossom Street by Debbie MacComber, autographed audiobook
So, the totals are, 13 galleys, 17 autographed, 23 children's/YA books.
I went to the BookExpo at the Javits with
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melange428 and elizabeyth and Melissa's friend Patti and it was exhausting and awesome and crazy and I can't wait until next year!It cost $45 for the day, (buying in advance and being a so I figured that as long as I got $45 worth of books then it was worth it, and since hardcover books tend to cost about $26 each, as long as I got two that would make it worth my while. I really didn't have anything to fear.
I ended up with:
Thirty-nine books, at least a third of them autographed
Five totebags, and really good ones, not cheapies
A backpack
Two audiobooks
A comic book
A lithograph
A pair of earbuds
and a stuffed carrot
I think that was $45 well spent! And thank goodness for the fact that I had an ABA badge, because ABA members not only had a nice lounge with couches, snacks and special signings just for them, but, far more vitally, a free bag check, so you don't have to drag thirty-nine books, five totebags, a backpack, two audiobooks, a comic book, a lithograph, a pair of earbuds and a stuffed carrot around for eight hours.
***
So I'm going to be reviewing books for Melissa's website, Kidliterate, and I definitely got some kids and YA books and galleys that look good and I'm looking forward to reading them.
One of the reasons that I wanted so much to go to this Expo and I volunteered to write reviews for Melissa is that I have almost entirely stopped reading books, I'm always listening to podcasts, and I miss it, I want a reason to start again, I need a jump in order to do so, and this is it.
And I'll start as soon as I finish watching the Bee! And yes, I know it was a couple of days ago, but it disappeared off the TiVo so I had to catch it on the rerun today.
At the end, I was looking around for my bag, because I had two when I walked in, but it was gone! I had been in that room the whole time for crying out loud, where could it have gone? So I called all of the actors and accused them of stealing my bag (or asked them if they maybe grabbed it accidentally, I don't quite remember which), then left to go to rehearsal.
While I was waiting for the bus, I got a text from Kelly that I wasn't needed, so I decided to go to Papaya Dog and wait for one of the actors to call me back. She did, and she didn't have it, and I was like what the hell am I going to do now, when Paul called me and said that it was found in the bathroom at the theatre! You know, where I HAD LEFT IT! Good Lord, I don't even remember taking it in there.
So I took my chili dog and my cheese fries back over there and hung out for a while, talking about our dead fathers, then came home.
Early up tomorrow, it's walk Daisy, then BookExpo all day, hooray!
***
Watching the last Leno Tonight Show, James Taylor is singing "Sweet Baby James", even if the rest of the show hadn't been any good, this would have made it worth watching.
melange428 and tracing00 and the baby, whom of course I haven't seen since the day after he was actually born, thank goodness Melissa came in from St Louis, or Tracing and I would never seen each other again!***
Okay, fine, I'll try So You Think You Can Dance again after the auditions are done and they have the final picks, but if it makes me want to crawl out of my skin, I will fully blame
elizaloula, patsynewquist and sunsplash. On your head be it.New userpics is from the Lonely Hearts Killers set on Flikr, friend me there if you want to see them. Acually, they are pretty awesome, I think.
I'm totally getting this from Netflix just to hear the commentary.
My favourite dialogue exchange:
Will: It's funny, I've walked this way hundreds of times, I've never seen this pylon.
Enik: Nor have I, Will Marshall, and I have been in this valley many times longer than you.
Cha-Ka: Cha-Ka think it new pylon.
Will: Either that, Cha-Ka, or it's been invisible all this time.
Enik: That is not logical.
Will: Now Enik, if you've been in The Land of the Lost that much longer than we have, you oughta know by now that not everything here is logical.
(beat)
Enik: That is logical.
That's the other thing that happened more towards the end of the series than the beginning, a constant referring to the title of the show: "Matches are worth their weight in gold here in The Land of the Lost!" It's so precious.
I cooked all day, and learned my lesson from Easter, which is if you don't want to eat at midnight, you start cooking dinner the second the last bite of breakfast pancakes are down your gullet. I made a meatloaf and stuffing (because stuffing is what makes a special dinner) and mashed potatoes and canned corn and a brownie cake for dessert and it was all very yummy.
It was the first time that I had ever made meatloaf, and frankly I wasn't crazy about it, but Blake liked it, which is what's important. If I'm cooking for someone, I'm far happier if they liked it and I didn't than the other way around. Next time I make meatloaf, I'm going to put it freestanding in a big pan like Alton does so that the far drains away instead of pooling in the bottom of the pan. I just thought it was a little soggy.
Then I had Shrew rehearsal, though it was first act only and I'm not in the first act, because Kelly's playing Hortensio and needed someone to be on book. So that happened, then I went home and we had cake.
It was a successful Memorial Day, because any day that starts out with pancakes and ends with brownie cake, well, it doesn't get much better than that.
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